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What to do when a child is having a tantrum

What to do when a child is having a tantrum

The tantrums of children take parents by surprise especially when they are tired or patience is running out. The child that has lost their temper is aggressive and persistent, they seek at any cost - tears, screams, public hysteria - to achieve the fulfillment of their desire.

  • Emotions that children make us feel
  • You are annoyed. If the child’s behavior makes you angry, then they are fighting for your attention. Do not wait for this feeling to increase, but also do not try to explain anything to the child, it is better to use body language signs of attention. For example, a son (daughter) pulls you to play, stomping your feet, screaming while you are talking to a neighbor. Hug him, pat him on the head, squeeze, without interrupting the conversation.

    You are angry. This is a sign that the child is fighting with you for power, wants to have the last word. The main task of an adult in this situation is to avoid the struggle. Give the child the right to choose. Agree on the rules in advance and use symbols when they violate the contract, accept the right for yourself and the child to release the negative feelings away, relieve tension with a joke or an unexpected act.

    You are offended. Perhaps the child is taking revenge on you. In this case, choose the method of exposure more carefully: each subsequent punishment convinces the child more and more that you cannot behave otherwise. Take a pause and think about the child’s reaction, talk to them and understand their motives. Imagine how you want to see your relationship with your son (daughter) and try to show your unconditional love for them in practice.

    You feel sorry for your child. The child is crying, sitting in front of scattered toys that you instructed them to collect. Perhaps the child feels helpless, but, as a rule, they just pretend. The task of the parents is to return the strength and confidence to their child. To do this, it is necessary to break a large and complex task (assemble toys) into smaller and simpler ones: first, we collect all the cubes, then we put all the cars in the garage and so on.

  • More practical advice
  • How to cope with a tantrum of a child from 1 to 3 years old: Distract the child who is about to lose their temper, with a joke or a game, quickly switch their attention. Do not allow them to destroy toys and objects, show other ways to make the anger go away. For example, you can have a "bag of anger" and throw out screams and anger in it. When the bag is full, ask dad to throw it in the trash or wash it in the washing machine.

    From 3 to 6 years old: Going shopping in the supermarket, do not expect that the child will walk patiently and quietly nearby: find a feasible job for them. Choose the bun in the bread section yourself, calculate how many purchases are in your cart or else the child can grab something when you do not see.

    If you have a queue at the clinic or a traffic jam, do not forget to put a couple of small toys in your bag in order to switch the child’s attention at the right moment.

    Before entering a store or other public place, remind you what behavior you expect from a child: do not run, do not shout, or grab items from the shelves without permission. And act calmly to teach them how to behave.

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